Imagine that you've just picked up a piece of marketing literature. It arouses your curiosity about something. Perhaps it challenges you in some way. Or validates your actions, feelings or beliefs. Or is pertinent to your situation in some way. Ideally, pertinence is combined with some other factor for maximum penetration into your mind. But once penetration occurs, pertinence must be quickly recognized — "Yeah, I might find that software handy," or "I'd sure like to taste that!" — or else all the work of grabbing and holding your attention will have been wasted.

As you attend to the message, if you find it unclear, confusing or difficult to follow — or if it simply becomes boring, perhaps burdening you with seemingly irrelevant details — resentment will mount. Unless the subject is of overwhelming interest to you, your attention will start to wander. You'll have moved on to something else.

Below are examples of common copywriting blunders.

Blunder # 1

Source

Brochure for "Widget," a sophisticated medical technology instrument that replaces the standard "gizmo" procedure.

Specimen

These studies can be quickly and painlessly performed with Widget rather than expensive, complicated gizmo scans.

[It was clear from context that 'painlessly' referred to financial rather than physical pain.]

What's wrong with it?

A comparison is being made here between the marketer's Widget and standard gizmo scans, but the grammar obscures the issues. When the awkward construction is straightened out, we have:

"With Widget, these studies can be performed quickly and painlessly. Gizmo scans, by contrast, are expensive and complicated."

But now it becomes evident that the problem was more than grammatical, for the intended contrast is not made. "Quickly and painlessly" are not the opposite of "expensive and complicated." The positive and negative attributes are not matched. 

To match the attributes properly, however, we need more than vague adjectives. We need specific figures.

Rewrite

For studies like these, the advantages of Widget over gizmo are dramatic:

Since the Widget is just as accurate and reliable, why would you ever want to run another gizmo?

True, the rewrite takes more room, but it's worth it for the dramatic contrast. If space is at a premium, we can still say:

Gizmo scans for these studies require more than double the time, steps and cost of Widget scans. 

Compare that with the original:

These studies can be quickly and painlessly performed with Widget rather than expensive, complicated gizmo scans.

 Blunder # 2

Source

Brochure for reference software for postal workers and mail-room clerks.

Specimen

It's fun!  Discover the hidden facts about mailing. 

What's wrong with it?

This marketer has learned to stress the benefits, but is trying too hard. It is stretching it a bit to be advertising postal reference software on the basis that it's fun to discover the hidden facts about mailing. The claim may be true, but it is not a credible selling point. 

In fact, it could well be a negative to the actual buyer, especially if he or she is a manager — interested in increasing efficiency and saving money, not in subsidizing the company-time entertainment of employees.

Some 'benefits' are better left unstated. 

Rewrite

[Omit altogether.]

Blunder # 3

Source

Sales letter for niche-marketing segmentation software sold in-person to advertising agency executives by a marketing software developer.

Specimen

By meeting with me and allowing me to demonstrate this new segmentation technique, I can help you prepare more powerful presentations for new or existing clients. 

What's wrong with it?

The problem is grammatical. The first part of the sentence — "By meeting with me and allowing me to demonstrate this new segmentation technique," — is a clause modifying "I," the subject of the sentence. In other words, "I" will be meeting with "me." So the company's representatives are saying that they are meeting with themselves! They are allowing themselves to demonstrate. 

The sentence's only saving grammatical grace is its rich entertainment value — but the humor was at the company's expense, literally. Unfortunately, the specimen sentence was typical of their writing. They paid heavily in lost sales, even though their software was a brilliant innovation.

Errors like this one may seem harmless, but they can distract from the selling argument and make a company seem silly rather than serious. Readers may laugh, but they'll buy their products and services from companies who look like they know what they're doing. 

Rewrite

In a free consultation, I'll show you how this new segmentation technique can help you prepare more powerful presentations for new or existing clients. 

Blunder # 4

Source

Technical data sheet for high-tech industrial instrument.

Specimen

[A large portion of the specifications section was in all-caps.]

What's wrong with it?

EVEN THOUGH THIS MAY BE COMMON IN THE INDUSTRY, IT IS AN UNWISE PRACTICE. RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT TEXT IN ALL-CAPS IS LESS READABLE THAN TEXT IN LOWER CASE, BECAUSE THERE IS NO VARIATION IN LETTER HEIGHT AND THEREFORE THE EYE HAS FEWER CRITERIA BY WHICH TO DIFFERENTIATE THE LETTERS. 

There now — isn't this easier?